hile gold diggers certainly do exist – to the dismay of many wealthy and not-so-wealthy men – even the most unmaterialistic woman will admit to not liking cheap men. The reasons why may surprise you, as it has little to do with the money itself, and more to do with what it represents.
You see, women view how a man spends – or fails to spend – his money as a direct reflection of how generous and giving he is as a person. For example, a man who calculates his every dime and rarely treats his woman, or his friends for that matter, will be seen as a tightwad who puts his own bottom line above all else.
But by no means should you always pick up the bill and buy your woman expensive gifts. No woman has any right to view a man as a meal ticket – ever.
Furthermore, they will assume that this trait applies to all aspects of the man’s character, from how open he is with his feelings to how much love he is able to give. This is not to say that women equate love with money; simply that women will be more drawn to a man who is generous both in finances and spirit.
Girls just wanna have fun
Another reason why women don’t like cheap men is, quite simply, that it is much harder to have a good time with a cheap man than it is with one who doesn’t mind investing in one. Unfortunately, those activities that are the most fun tend to cost a little more. Consider watching wrestling on pay-per-view for a few bucks versus going to see it live; it just can’t compare.
Meet her halfway
Many women are generous by nature and love doing things for their significant others, like making them a nice dinner. It is only natural that such women expect their men to give a little bit as well, whether by taking them out for an all-expenses paid night on the town, or taking off work early to surprise them. Most women will quickly tire of doing things for their men if they get nothing in return, materially or otherwise.
Don’t be a sucker
But by no means should you always pick up the bill and buy your woman expensive gifts. No woman has any right to view a man as a meal ticket – ever. The key is to strike that delicate balance between not being cheap and not being taken advantage of financially.
At the beginning of the relationship, don’t even make money an issue. If you want to make her dinner at your place because you’d rather not spend an exorbitant amount of your hard-earned cash wining and dining a woman whom you don’t even know very well yet, that’s fine, just don’t tell her about it. Rather, tell her that you want to cook her a romantic dinner for two – I guarantee she’ll melt.
Similarly, don’t buy her expensive jewellery and clothing; but make her smile with small, thoughtful tokens of your affection, such as concert tickets. This will get her to appreciate the thought behind the gift, rather than its monetary value. Of course, if you have the habit of dating heartless gold diggers, this may not work. But in this case, you have bigger issues to worry about.
She’s worth it
Once you’ve been dating exclusively for a while, however, it’s time to show her that she is important to you and that you appreciate her, and if that means spending a little more on a nice dinner or weekend getaway, then that should be okay. This will show her that you recognize value, and that you feel that she is worth the investment in time and money.
They just want to see that the man they are with is as generous as they are, whether he expresses this by financial means or in other ways, such as by being giving with his time or with unselfish acts of intimacy.
If you don’t ever "invest in the relationship," she will get the impression that you never will, and find herself someone who she feels is willing to. She needs to know that you value her and appreciate a certain quality of life that she can at the very least feel comfortable with.
Furthermore, she will eventually think that you must be cheap with your emotions as well, and begin to tell herself that you are probably incapable of ever letting go and truly loving her, which is a sure-fire recipe for a breakup.
The little things
In the end, most women just want to feel appreciated by their mates, especially if they are often doing things for them. They just want to see that the man they are with is as generous as they are, whether he expresses this by financial means or in other ways, such as by being giving with his time or with unselfish acts of intimacy. Again, if you are unfortunately involved with a gold digger, this may not apply to you.
Hanging in the balance
I happen to know of a couple of women who footed the bill on the first date – and even on a regular basis – and completely floored the guy they were with. The fact that the women in question were willing to spend their money on a first date with a guy made the men actually want to be generous with them in return. This type of equality in a relationship is rare but what we should all strive for. Until you find yourself in such a situation, don’t scare away a potential Miss Right by being a cheapskate – but don’t ever let yourself be taken advantage of either.
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|By Victoria Holmes Writer/Journalist