Top 10: Ways To Grab A Woman’s Attention

If you want to succeed with women, you need to learn how to stand out from the crowd and grab a woman’s attention, fast.


f you want to succeed with women, you need to learn how to stand out from the crowd and grab a woman’s attention, fast. No, it’s not about fancy clothes or pickup lines. It’s about learning a few key skills that will make a lasting impression on the woman you want. Here are 10 tips you can use immediately:

10 || Retool your body language
When you’re approaching a woman, remember that your body language is more important than the words you use. I’ve watched a lot of guys approach a lot of women in my day. Most guys use submissive, apologetic body language and voice tones — they look as if they’re pleading with a woman to give them approval, and they come across as wussies. Think about how you’d act if you were the “selector” — if you wanted to find out if she’s exceptional enough that you’d want to get to know her better, instead of you being concerned about whether or not she’s going to like you. Big shift, isn’t it? Remember this on your next approach and you’ll have a lot more success.

9 || Know what you’ll say ahead of time
It sucks not feeling like you’re prepared to talk to a woman. So sit down and think carefully about common situations where you see women you’d like to meet. Come up with 10 different ways you could start a conversation in these situations, pick your favorite, and mentally rehearse it. Most of the guys I know who are great with women use the simplest of simple conversation starters. "Hi." "What are you drinking?" "Hey, are you from around here?" I realize that these sound simple, and they are. But they’re so simple that they’re disarming. They don’t come across as canned "pickup lines,” and they help you figure out very quickly if the woman you’re talking to is friendly.

8 || Take control
When you’re out with a woman and you’re teasing her, she might say: "Be nice!" or "You’re mean… Stop it!" or "I don’t like that…" Usually it’s because she’s trying to see if she can control you, because she perceives that you are now taking control. When this happens, I always shoot something back like: "I’m glad you like it." This is confusing to them, but it also transmits my message loud and clear: "I’m the one who’s in charge of my own reality, and I don’t change just because you’re acting annoyed.” Women may argue with you when you do this, but deep down they will respect you and feel more attraction to you. The next time your girl says: "You never used to tease me this much," say: "Oh, you know what? I’m really sorry, because you always deserved it. I must just not have been paying close enough attention!"

7 || Three more dos and don’ts of body language
Do hold yourself upright; think of how you’d hold yourself if you were the most confident man in the world. Do move slowly, gesture slowly and speak slowly. This communicates comfort and confidence. Do pause often. Stay cool, and pause if you need to in order to keep your composure. Don’t talk too fast or too much. This communicates that you’re nervous (unless you’re naturally a chatty guy). Don’t do nervous gestures, laughs, ticks, etc. Don’t break eye contact. At first, you need to maintain eye contact until she breaks it. This establishes, at an unconscious level, that you’re not afraid. Practice these tips over and over again, and you’ll notice a big difference in how women respond to you.

6 || Get numbers smoothly
It might surprise you, but if the conversation is going well, a woman will often give you her number within a minute or two of meeting you. The secret is to ask correctly when you’re leaving. Ask her if she has e-mail, then when she says yes, tell her: “Great, I’m leaving, but I’d like to chat with you again. Here, write it down. And write your number there, too." It’s so simple, it’s almost stupid. You’ll find that many of the women you ask will just give you their e-mail and number that easily. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Don’t buy into the idea that women aren’t comfortable giving out their numbers. It’s just not true — see for yourself.

5 || Smooth out awkward silences
Most guys get uncomfortable at some point during a date, and they begin to let their emotions and insecurities get the best of them. They start to think, "Uh-oh. I need to do something to impress her, or say something to make her laugh or she won’t like me.” If you begin to feel this kind of thing happening, it’s probably time to do something. Get up, go for a walk and move around. Tell a funny story about something that happened to you when you were a kid. Go to the store and look at magazines and make fun of famous people. Just do something! The thing that determines whether a silence was "uncomfortable" or not is what you do after the silence is over. If you act cool and casual, then it won’t be a big deal.

4 || Forget the tricks
Many guys think they need to use “trickery” to figure out something important about a woman. Let’s say you’ve placed a personal ad online, a cute woman replies, she sends you a picture, but it only shows her face — and you’re interested in women who are slim. Don’t make the mistake of trying to figure out some slick way to get her to share how much she weighs without having to ask. Just e-mail her and say: "Hey, how tall are you and how much do you weigh? I really prefer women who are slim. Let me know.” That’s it. If she is slim, she’ll tell you, and probably be glad that you were up front with her and direct. If she isn’t slim, she’ll be glad you told her now and didn’t waste her time. Be classy but direct and you’ll get to where you want to go faster.

3 || Grabbing attention online
The No. 1 mistake men make online is writing normal, boring stuff and asking normal, boring questions. Instead, when you get a reply, e-mail and ask her for her number and tell her that you’re swamped with a million messages from supermodels who keep bragging about how much money they have, and she needs to act fast or you’ll be gone. Do not, under any circumstances, talk about lame, normal stuff. This will give you an advantage over 90% of the other men looking for women online. Trust me.

2 || Don’t give in to tantrums
Many women will test you by complaining about themselves. The next time this happens, take whatever she’s saying and turn it up a notch. If she says: "My hair makes me look so ugly,” just reply, "You know, I wasn’t going to say anything, but…" Remember, combine Cocky with Funny and you have an excellent chance of hitting her attraction buttons. If you really want to be bold, just say: "So, what am I going to get paid for babysitting tonight?" Or even better, "Did this stuff work on your dad? Why didn’t he spank you more?" I’m cracking myself up over here.

1 || Improve yourself
Most guys don’t take the time to work on themselves. If you really want to grab a woman’s attention — and keep it — then be one of the few men who take the time to develop themselves into the kind of guy worthy of an amazing woman’s attention. Invest in yourself — get an education on how to attract women naturally — and that’ll do more than anything else to put you on the path to success with the women you want.

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By David DeAngelo

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