But what do ‘red flags’ in a relationship even mean? Are they universal? Also, how seriously should you take it if you recognize these red flags in your (potential) partner? I will explain a bit more about red flags and give you a few to look out for.
What are red flags?
We consider red flags to be reasons to stop with a relationship. These red flags show us, often already in the first stages of the relationship, that the person we’re into can’t have a healthy relationship. It is often a good indication that pursuing a relationship with this person will hurt you and they won’t be good for you emotionally.
Examples of red flags
• Signs of violence
This person is either violent towards you, other people or even against animals. When someone displays violence on multiple occasions, this is a clear red flag and it means that they can’t handle their emotions in a responsible, healthy way.
• Cheating in the past
When you’re in a relationship you obviously want to be able to trust your partner. However, if this partner already has a history of infidelity you will most likely have trouble trusting them. It’s also a warning to you to be careful, because who knows whether or not they will stay loyal to you if they didn’t do it in their past relationships.
• Extreme jealousy and distrust
If your partner is always jealous and doesn’t trust you, it’s a red flag. This could seem like your partner is really attentive, but later on you’ll realize they’re actually extremely insecure about themselves. An extremely jealous person who doesn’t trust you is not someone you want to be with.
• They’re controlling
Being with someone who always tries to control you can be very harmful to your mental and emotional health. A partner who wants to control everything you do will most likely not make you happy, but it also shows that they have deep personal issues.
• ‘Crazy exes’
Obviously you and your partner will discuss both of your former relationships at some point, but pay attention to how they talk about their past partners. If your partner talks about them being a ‘crazy ex’, you should watch out. This is a sign that they don’t take any responsibility for what went wrong in the relationship and they don’t respect their former partner at all anymore, even though they once loved this person.
What to do now?
These are just a few examples of red flags, but usually red flags are universal. These are things every person should look out for in every relationship, because there’s a big risk that this relationship will harm you emotionally. It’s up to you how seriously you take the red flags you identify in your partner, but generally speaking it’s best to leave when they have multiple red flags, although everything is different with different circumstances of course. Just think about the relationship carefully if you recognize red flags in your partner and do what’s best for you and your wellbeing.
