You may imagine that you listen…but do you really pay attention?
Think about it. Right….you don’t. Why? We asked three romance and relationship experts for their take. Here are their TOP TEN REASONS WOMEN DON’T LISTEN TO MEN.
Romance Novelist, Lenore Edwards.
“I think one of the reasons why women don’t listen to men, is that men and women often speak a different language. This all goes back to how we were raised and socially conditioned as male or female. Even though society has grown and evolved, a great deal, the old behavioral model still has a great deal of influence.
Consider this and add it to the equation:
· Men are supposed to be strong
· Men are supposed to be unemotional
· Men are supposed to fix problems
10 reasons why women don’t listen to men
1. What a woman wants to hear, especially in the beginning of a relationship, often gets in the way of actual listening. For example, a man may say to you when you begin dating, “I have a real problem with dating just one woman.” Do you wonder why this man doesn’t want to commit? He told you up front he had a problem with commitment!
2. Men and women express themselves very differently – it is almost 2 completely different languages. Women approach things with the language of feeling. Men approach things in a more linear style. This is not sexist, it is an evolving reality.
3. A woman wants her mate or partner to give her support and to commiserate with her problems. Instead, a man gives solutions on how to handle the problem. After a while, a woman stops telling the man what went on during the day and communication lessens.
4. A man’s interest is different from his partner’s. He may be wild about whether his football team wins or loses, his mate may have absolutely no interest. Of course, the reverse also occurs. Compromise is needed and each partner needs to take time and pay attention to the others needs and interests.
5. A woman may be very concerned about what’s going on in her friends’ lives, but her guy may not care. She stops telling him stories of the things that are important in her life.
6. A woman may expect a man to be like her best girlfriend. He’s not! He’s your mate and a male, and has a very different point of view and a different measuring stick about what’s important and what is not. Appreciate that.
7. A woman may expect a man to read her mind and is upset when he doesn’t. Even if you buy him a crystal ball, it’s not possible! Sometimes you don’t even know your own mind.
8 A woman may read underlying meanings into what a man said when, in reality, what they said is what they meant. This is a deadly trap for all people. When we make assumptions about what the other person really meant instead of asking them what they meant, we get into big trouble.
9. A woman may assume her words didn’t hurt her mate. We are all sensitive and want a fulfilling relationship. That takes time and effort.
10. Both parties need to practice listening.
Dating and relationship expert, Julie Spira, best-selling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online
1. Men can be controlling: They’re type A (aka control freaks) in the boardroom, but what happens when they come home and act the same in the bedroom? As women, we don’t appreciate it. We’d rather ignore them than be treated like the subordinate from the office.
2. Men are fixers: When we tell men about our problems, we are simply venting. On the other hand, they become obsessed with finding a solution to our problem. Thus, when we search for empathy, they annoy us with a list of things to do. Consequently, we ignore them.
3. They accuse us of catastrophizing: We like things perfect. We want the perfect guy, perfect job, and perfect men. When we fall short, we express our feelings. When our men accuse us of overreacting, we get angry and walk away.
4. They patronize us: He pretends to understand you, but you can see he’s distracted and is only partially in the conversation. If he’s not truly interested in engaging, we are not interested in listening.
5. He’s angry: No one wants to listen to the guy who’s gone mad. If he’s angry, we don’t want to be his scapegoat nor are we interested in sticking around while he yells.
6. He’s exaggerating AND lying: No one likes a bragger! So when he starts talking about his accomplishments and how great he is, we turn the other ear. (Newsflash, we DON’T care)
7. He wants sex: We want the bills paid and to feel loved, cherished, adored, etc. If he’s not making us feel great outside of the bedroom, we won’t be feeling sexy in the near future.
8. He interrupts us when we’re busy and wants attention: We’re preoccupied with something we believe is important. What we’re doing might not seem important to him, but it is to you. Can’t he find another time to start a dialogue?!
9. Because he’s in the doghouse: He screwed up. We are upset and we want to leave him there for a while. No, we don’t want to talk. Give us time. We will eventually come around.
10. Men don’t know what it is like to be female: We multi-task, everywhere. We can juggle a million things and still have time to put a band-aid on a crying child’s knee. Basically, we are all anatomically designed to be wonder-women. Men on the other hand, process things slowly. So when we are on page 100, they are still on page 5, leaving us frustrated and less tempted to listen to what they have to say.
As we all know, there are many more reasons as to why we daydream when men talk to us. Do you agree or disagree ? Do you have your own reasons? Do you think we’re good listeners? We want to hear from you! Leave us a comment.
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