Do you ever wonder why it seems like you just can’t keep a relationship alive longer than 5 minutes? Yea, I’m all for blaming the jerk of a guy you were dating. But the truth is, it might not always be his fault! It could be YOU! Hard as it may be to swallow, there are clues that you are to blame for relationship difficulties and you should keep an eye out for them. It’s important to square away your own issues before you focus on your partner’s. We all have our little bad habits, but when they start to leak over into our personal lives and ruin relationships, that’s when you know it’s time to start taking action-in a good way! Don’t despair if you fall into one of these categories. They’re all fixable! Are you ready to discover the truth? It may be hard, but if your relationships are worth it to you, you will want to know, right? So keep on reading my article for 7 clues that you are to blame for relationship difficulties.
1. You Take the Fun Out of It
So maybe you’re not spontaneous. Maybe you like structure and need to have things planned. That’s ok! But you do need to remember that life does happen, and sometimes plans get upset or thrown out of whack. Try to be a little looser and a little more spontaneous when it comes to activities and things you do with your family and friends. Not everything is fun when it’s so planned out or when everything is “against the rules.” Don’t be the disapproving wife, girlfriend, mom or best friend!
2. You Over-Rely on Technology
One of the clues that you are to blame for relationship difficulties is when you rely too much on technology. Yes, Facebook, texting and online chatting are all great ways to keep in touch and stay connected. But when that’s practically the ONLY connection you have with your loved ones, it’s time to step back and get a quick reality check. Technology can never replace the satisfaction of time spent together, face-to-face. The only instance that this rule doesn’t pertain to is if you are apart from the loved one in question as is the case with deployed spouses, college students and family members living in separate states.
3. You Live on Drama
We all have that one friend who lives off of drama, the one who makes a mountain out of a mole-hill and specializes in blowing up over the smallest thing. But could it be you? This is one of the clues that you are to blame for relationship difficulties! Nobody likes to take the blame, but someone has to do it. And I understand that you can’t be mellow all the time-nobody can do that! But flipping out over little issues won’t win you any points. Try to remain responsible and reasonable and not live off the drama!
4. You Pick Unavailable People
I’m cringing as I write this because I know we’ve all fallen prey to THIS one! Going after unavailable people is the biggest clue that you might be to blame for relationship difficulties. If the person you are trying to have a relationship with-be it co-worker, friend, boyfriend or a relative-does not put forth their share into keeping your relationship alive, then they are making themselves unavailable to you. You don’t deserve that! Before you start diving headfirst into any sort of relationship, step back and make sure the person you are choosing is available and willing to put out as much as you do. You will be so glad you did!
5. You Work too Much
How many of you have seen The Proposal with Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds? It’s a cute little comedy, but it carries a powerful truth: work-a-holics don’t usually get a happily ever after. If you are putting work as the number one priority in your life, then you can be sure all of your relationships will suffer because of it. Yes, we all have hectic weeks with overtime or big promotions coming up that we have to work our butts off for. But when it becomes your LIFE, that’s when you know something is not right. And the same applies for school or anything else you have in your life that might take predominance. This little clue that you are to blame for relationship difficulties is a hard truth to swallow, but you can take it or leave it!
6. You Don’t Make Yourself Emotionally Accessible
One thing that I think really harms people, women in particular, when it comes to relationships is PAST relationships. Women who have had bad experiences with relationships in their past lives tend to be less trusting and a lot more emotionally guarded with future relationships. This includes any type of relationship, whether it’s with guys, friends or family members. And it can be hard to overcome! But it is possible. You should be careful, but not so careful that you completely push everyone out of your life and away from you. Try to be a little more trusting and open, make yourself emotionally accessible!
7. You Place More Value on Material Items
I’m the kind of girl that doesn’t need wealth and riches to be happy. Yes, they are nice and having money to do things is great! But when it comes down to the wire, i’d rather have my husband, my family and my super friends over a bank account any day! At the end of the day, your money can’t make you smile, hold you close, or lavish love on you. Nor can it remind you that the simple things in life are the best. So make sure that you don’t place more value on material possessions or money in the bank then you do on your relationships. That will hurt you far more than help you!
There are lots of clues that you are to blame for relationship difficulties. In the end, finding a place to belong, somebody to love you and friends for life is not just about how much money you make or what you have to offer. It’s about making mistakes, recognizing them, and growing from them. If you can do that, it proves you are human. Just don’t make the same mistakes twice! These clues that you are to blame for relationship difficulties will help get you pointed in the right direction. What are some other clues that you are to blame for relationship difficulties? Don’t be afraid to share!
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