Shy Magazine

Sex & Love

I Like My Best Friend’s Girlfriend

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I like my best friend’s girlfriend. What should I do?
| by DC Edmond |

There are several things you can do. And you’ve already done the first two things I’d suggest: first, admit that you like your best friend’s girlfriend, and second, realize this isn’t a very good idea.

The mistake many people make in this kind of situation is that they don’t admit—even to themselves—that liking their best friend’s girlfriend is a problem. Some guys go into denial, telling themselves, I don’t like her. Yeah, right.

When you like someone, often other people can sense it. There’s just some kind of chemistry between two people when at least one of the parties is attracted to the other. Usually other people can sense that chemistry too. You can’t tell me you don’t know when one of your friends likes someone.

For the past few years now, I’ve been listening to my daughter describe her relationship with various fellows like this: “We’re just friends” or “He’s my buddy” or (the least believable line of all) “We’re like sister and brother.”

I’ve heard her say that about people I knew she was attracted to or I knew were attracted to her. While she was busy denying the attraction (and while I was busy hoping there was no attraction), I could almost always tell when an attraction existed one way or the other.

The point is, if there’s an attraction, admit it—at least to yourself, though probably not to your best friend, and certainly not to his girlfriend.

Second (you’ve heard me say this before), in relationships treat other people the way you want to be treated. This rule applies not only to girlfriends but to best friends, too. Would you want your best friend to move in on your girlfriend?

Stay away from situations that could get you into trouble and betray a friend’s trust. Respect your best friend’s relationship the way you would want him to respect the relationship if it were yours.

If you don’t respect the relationship, it’s a no-win situation for you. Because if you go after your best friend’s girlfriend and “miss,” chances are she’s going to tell your best friend, who will then become your ex-best friend. And if you do get your best friend’s girlfriend, you still lose your best friend (only to gain a girl who’s proved she can’t be trusted).

Remember, girlfriends (and boyfriends) come and go. But best friends can stay friends forever.

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