Why do some women run for the hills when they find out that you have little ones at home? A woman may have several reasons for being hesitant to get involved with a man who has children. The better you understand these reasons, the easier it’ll be for you to put her fears to rest and to have a chance at a real relationship. Here are the top 10 reasons women won’t date single dads.
No.10 – Mom is always there
If she’s spending time with you, chances are she’s spending time with your kids — and they are bound to talk about their mother while she’s around. The fact that there is forever another woman in your life may bother her. The children will always be reminding her of their mom’s existence.
No.9 – Mom really is there
If your former partner is a hands-on mom, there’s a good chance that she and your girlfriend will cross paths every now and again. The mom might drop the kids off for the weekend and come in to say hi. Maybe they’ll both be at a piano recital or a Little League game. When they have to be in the same room, your girlfriend may worry that there will be tension or even resentment.
No.8 – She doesn’t want to babysit
She has her own life and it’s plenty full already. She may barely have room for you in it, let alone your kids. She doesn’t want to get stuck babysitting your kids instead of going out on dates with you.
No.7 – She wants her future kids to be your first
You’ve already watched your kids go through many of the milestones of growing up. You’ve been there for their first steps and their first words. These experiences are no longer new to you. A woman might avoid having a relationship with a single dad because she wants all those firsts to be shared mutually between her and her children’s father.
No.6 – She doesn’t want to be judged on her mom skills
In any new relationship, you evaluate each other to determine if you’re a match. She knows you’re going to be looking for certain qualities and attributes that make her a great girlfriend. If you have kids, however, she may be concerned that she’s also being judged on her mothering skills.
No.5 – She thinks you’re damaged goods
A woman may think that a single dad — whether he’s single because of divorce or death — will have emotional baggage because of his loss, which will be difficult to handle. The end of a relationship is always hard and the situation with his kids’ mom probably left plenty of issues behind. She can’t be sure if you’ve dealt with the trauma or not.
No.4 – The relationship is limited
With kids around, you can’t completely let go and do wild, spontaneous things like you might at the beginning of a childless relationship. There will be no crazy, loud sex with the kids sleeping next door and no last-minute decisions to take a romantic weekend getaway.
No.3 – She wants your undivided attention
In the first flush of love, all you want to do is be together. It’s annoying enough that you have to leave each other to go to work every day. Your commitments to your kids will seriously cut in to your couple time and she wants you to be focused on her — especially at first. She doesn’t want to compete with your kids for your time, affection and attention.
No.2 – She wants kids, but not yours
Even if she does have maternal leanings, a woman may not want a ready-made family. She doesn’t want to start out as a stepmother when she could have her own biological children. Bearing her own children may be an important part of her life plan.
No.1 – She doesn’t want kids
The most obvious reason that a woman would be freaked out by the fact that you’re a dad is that she doesn’t like kids. Yes, there are women out there who don’t care for children. Maybe she doesn’t think she’d be a good parent, maybe she doesn’t want to give up her childless lifestyle or maybe kids just get on her nerves. Whatever the reason, if she has never pictured herself as a mom, becoming a step-mom probably isn’t in the cards either.
Understandable or outrageous? Some of these motives are understandable, while others are a bit ridiculous. If you think she might be worth it, get to the bottom of her anxiety on the subject. On the other hand, you might find that she’s too selfish or immature to handle it and, in that case, you might as well move on.
Love this post?