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10 Things You Lose When You Commit0 comments

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Commitment seems like a great idea. You make your relationship more official and share your life with someone who’s not going to leave by the time morning arrives.
| by Giulia Simolo |

But with any big idea, there are pros and cons attached to it. With commitment comes benefits, yes, but there’re also risks. It’ll do you good to think of what you stand to lose before you take the leap.

Here’s our Top 10 things that are likely to get tossed on the fire when you commit.

No.10 Your female friends
One of my male friends recently got into a verbal tussle with his girlfriend over how often he texts his female friends. There’s no doubt that changes and issues do occur in your friendships when you get a girlfriend — especially female friendships. You won’t be able to spend as much time with or text the girls like you used to, because those friendships tend to get nudged down a few rungs of the ladder. Why? Your girlfriend is in the No. 1 spot now. Any other women have to understand that she gets most of you, and they have to be satisfied with scraps.

No.9 Your weekends
Free time you’d notch up and enjoy with a beer used to be completely yours, but now that you’re in a serious relationship, it’s highly likely that quality time with your broad will be squeezing into the time you get to your disposal. After all, with both of you working during the week, there’s not much chance to spend time together. That’s why the prestigious weekend is often filled with relationship quality time.

No.8 Your casual fun
Flirting is the first thing to die when it comes to casual fun and relationships. In fact, those two concepts often get along as badly as Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield in a boxing ring. When you’re in a serious relationship, there are boundaries for interaction with other women. Flirting has to be contained, otherwise it could explode into something inappropriate. As for casual fun with your partner, a full-fledged, committed relationship calls to mind things like responsibilities, obligations and routine. It’s very easy to lose the fun in the process.

No.7 Your self-indulgences
You used to be able to do whatever you pleased. If that included excessive smoking, drinking and staying out till dawn, there was nobody you had to answer to. But now when you stumble back home after a raucous night with the boys, you’re likely to find your girlfriend standing at the door with “Where the hell were you?” kinds of questions. If you’re committed to your girlfriend, you have to realize that you can’t be partying excessively the way you would as a single. It might sound hectic, but being in a serious setup means you have to account for your actions. So if you want wild time with the boys, you’ll probably have to run it past her and schedule it in.

No.6 Your exit
When things were less serious with your woman, it was much easier to find the exits than it is now. If things went pear-shaped fast, you could evacuate the building without much fuss because you weren’t too tied to each other yet. But now with all the emotional bindings, it makes clean breakups a bit more difficult.

No.5 Your financial independence
Often relationships don’t end only with emotional ties; they can also incorporate financial ones. It’s common to lapse into a “What’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine” line of thinking when you’re in a serious affair. Basically, if you’re committed, then you share each other’s financial situations. A good portion of your hard-earned cash is likely to head in your girlfriend’s direction. This is especially the case if she’s a gold digger, which means less of your money goes to your own interests.

No.4 Your options
They say a man is as faithful as his options. It’s not necessarily true that you’ll stay loyal to your girlfriend only until you meet someone better, but let’s be honest: It’s a boost to the ego to know that you still have pulling power, even if you don’t intend to use it. But with an exclusive relationship, you’re much more limited to this one relationship. Even window-shopping can prove boring. What’s the point of looking when you know it can’t go anywhere?

No.3 Your own plans
It’s not selfish to want to safeguard your future plans and have your own dreams. In fact, it’s necessary to have those, even when you’re in a relationship. But once things become more serious with your girl, there is no room for secret gambits; you’ll have to include her in all your ideas for the future.

No.2 Your space
Every king needs a castle, but if you bring a queen into the situation, then things can become complicated. Often commitment is closely linked to cohabitation, which can drastically reduce your privacy. Soon you’ll find feminine products in the bathroom cabinets, the arrival of kitchen utensils that you can’t even name and her votes counting more in castle decisions. Yep, it might feel like she’s making a play for your throne.

No.1 Your identity
When you first got together, you and your partner shared interests, values and some hobbies. The similarities thankfully ended there. But now it seems you’re merging identities. Though it can be a good feeling to be in sync with your partner on various levels (but stick to your own closets unless you want to become Brangelina), it can also mean losing your individualism. Say no to the relationship clones.


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