But what about when you’ve been together for a while? You have every reason to think the you’re moving forward in your relationship. But every once in a while, you experience a nagging little doubt in the back of your mind about her level of commitment to you. Sound like your relationship?
The best way to tell if she’s into you (or if she’s not into you) is to pay attention to her actions. Below is a list of seven things she might do to make you worry and set off your internal boyfriend alarm.
1- She’s secretive
What she does: She won’t listen to her messages or check her e-mail when you’re around.
Is it a sign? Yes
What her actions mean: If this has happened once or twice, don’t freak out. She could be helping out a girlfriend with a private crisis or even planning a surprise for you. But if she never checks her e-mail or voicemail when you’re around, this is a very good reason to set off your alarm. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s seeing other men, but she certainly is trying to keep you from being involved in all aspects of her life, and there’s probably a big, juicy reason for it.
2- She’s always mentioning another guy
What she does: She constantly tells stories or shares details about one specific guy.
Is it a sign? Maybe
What her actions mean: Frequently mentioning one specific guy is not necessarily a reason to set off your alarm; it all depends on the context. For example, is this a friend of hers from before you started dating? Maybe it’s a work friend and they had a big project to tackle? Don’t immediately let your green-eyed monster out, but do keep an eye on the situation.
3- She’s not into PDA
What she does: She won’t let you kiss her in public.
Is it a sign? No
What her actions mean: There are many women who have problems with PDA, so this is no reason to be worried or possessive as long as she does other things in public to acknowledge that you are her boyfriend (i.e. she introduces you as her boyfriend or allows you to hold the door open for her). The only reason this should be worrying is if she has allowed you to kiss her in public in the past and suddenly switched her behavior.
4- She picks fights
What she does: She starts arguments with you for the most mundane reasons.
Is it a sign? Maybe
What her actions mean: It depends on what type of arguments she’s starting. If she is starting debates with you about George Bush and the Iraqi war, I wouldn’t be too worried about your relationship. If, however, leaving the toilet seat up has led you into World War III, I might be concerned that she is starting up with you because she is unhappy about the way your relationship is going.
5- She keeps her place private
What she does: She won’t leave you alone in her apartment.
Is it a sign? No
What her actions mean: It is possible that she has things in her apartment that she is not ready for you to see. Maybe it’s that new dating book she just bought, or her journal that she writes in every night. On the other hand, some women are more private than others. She might have a strong sense of personal space and needs more time before allowing you alone in her apartment. On the other hand, if you’ve been dating for a year or two and she still won’t let you stay there alone, I’d say she’s hiding something.
6- She hangs with the guys
What she does: She has a lot of guy friends and they hang out on a regular basis.
Is it a sign? No
What her actions mean: Some women simply have a lot of guy friends. There is no reason for alarm unless you have a substantial reason to suspect that one guy in particular is more than just a friend.
7- She’s a flirt
What she does: She keeps looking at and flirting with other men in front of you.
Is it a sign? Yes
What her actions mean: Consistently flirting with other men in front of you is just rude. It shows that she has little respect for you and your relationship. You should definitely take this as a sign that something is up.
Go with your gut
Don’t ignore those nagging little doubts any longer. If you see that your girlfriend exhibits any of the above warning signs, you do have reason to be concerned. Talk to her about the situation and get things out in the open. If, in fact, she’s just not into you, then you’re better off knowing sooner rather than later.