Shy Magazine

Sex & Love

10 Biggest Mistakes Men Make on the First Date

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In today’s dating world, women have lots of options and they are not willing to settle.
| by Noemi Kis |

It is a large investment for a woman to go on a date. We have to spend hours doing our hair, make up and selecting or buying the perfect outfit. Therefore we are not as eager to have a do-over if the first one does not go well.

Let’s face it, we all make judgments based on first impressions and here are some ways to make sure you create positive and memorable ones and win those second dates.

1. Not being Chivalrous: Chivalry is not dead in fact; it will earn you extra points. There are so many men out there who forget to open the car door, let women in the door first, pull out the chair. When you do this, it makes you stand out.

2. Not being well-groomed: A well-groomed appearance can make you or break you. It only takes 7 seconds to make a first impression. Come shaved, with groomed hair, fingernails, good shoes, clothes and stocked with breath mints.

3. Not giving compliments Notice how great she looks. Women love compliments about what they are wearing or how beautiful they look. It helps to point out specifics such as: ‘You look beautiful in that dress”.

4. Not having a plan: When a man takes charge of the date, the woman feels more relaxed. Since it’s traditionally up to the men to be the pursuer therefore it is also presumed that men will make the arrangements for the date. Make restaurant reservations, buy movie tickets online, know directions ahead of time and have a plan.

5. Talking about controversial topics: Talking about ex-girlfriends is never a good idea as this can turn your new date off faster than you can say “Can I take you out again?” Rather talk about things such as: common hobbies, interests, education, aspirations, movies, sports and other positive non-controversial topics.

6. Taking phone calls: Taking calls or texting is a turn off and makes women feel less important and special. If you are in a profession that requires you to have your phone on you, let her know ahead of time. In this age of technology when we are all glued to our phones, it is important to have all your attention on your date.

7. Being late: Being late can be an instant turn-off but we all know that emergencies happen. If this is the case, give her a call letting her know that you are running late. Be a few minutes early to the restaurant or venue so that you have time to check in with the hostess and have the table ready when she shows up.

8. Taking her to an inappropriate venue: Taking a vegetarian to a steak house or a rock and roll chick to a country bar is bad judgment. The dress must match the venue as well. Ladies don’t like to show up to a five-star restaurant in jeans and a cute top or go to a dive bar in the little red dress.

9. Talking too much and not listening: Talking too much about yourself and not listening to her will make it look like you are insecure and trying to overcompensate by building yourself up too much. Instead listen and ask questions. The general rule of thumb is that the conversation should be like a Ping-Pong match. When answering a question, make sure you ask one back so that the conversation is not all about you. Women love to talk about themselves so don’t be afraid to just listen. Genuinely be interested in what she is saying.

10. Drinking too much: Drinking too much on a first date and getting sloppy is also a turn off. It’s very common and normal to be nervous on a first date but as the date continues, you will naturally ease up and get comfortable with each other.

Finally, secure a second date before the night is over. Don’t be afraid to tell her you are interested in seeing her again. She will appreciate it.

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