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Sex & Love

6 Signs Your Love Is Not Mutual

Image by © Strauss/Curtis/Corbis
Surefire ways to tell that you may be forcing a relationship.
| by Erica Renee |

I’ve learned one important rule of thumb when it comes to relationships: assume nothing.

If he hasn’t told you, or most importantly shown you, that he loves you, don’t assume he does. If he hasn’t mentioned a future with you, don’t assume that the two of you will get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. More importantly, if you are the one developing or creating the relationship don’t assume that he actually wants to be in it.

Sometimes it can be quite difficult to not force something when we want it badly; but forcing someone to be in a relationship or love you is a recipe for total disaster. Surprisingly, some people don’t even realize when they’re forcing love. They go through the motions, making excuses for why the other person isn’t reciprocating their actions. The reality is if you are always on the giving in of love and never receiving it, it may not exist in the other person.

Consider these six signs to ensure that you’re not forcing love or a relationship that either doesn’t exist or simply isn’t meant to be.

You Do All The Planning
Date #1…Your idea. Date #2…You asked him out. Every other plan has been made by you. He simply accepts, and at times declines, your invitation. However, he never makes the arrangements. If he wants to see you, allow him to make arrangements some times. It can very well be a case of him not having to do anything because he knows that you will take care of it. So to be on the safe side, allow him to have an equal say in when the two of you see each other. If he doesn’t initiate a date or make time to see you, then don’t force the issue.

You Always Have To Ask How He Feels ALL THE TIME
If you’re constantly doing a ‘how do you feel about me?’ check with your significant other, either he doesn’t’ care to share, doesn’t’ know, or doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Either way it’s the signs of an unhealthy relationship. When you’re unsure of how your man feels about you and he never cares to share, it’s important to not make up feelings for him that actually don’t exist.

He Never Mentions Your Future
You’ve mentioned marriage. He’s said nothing. You’ve mentioned having kids. He gives you a blank stare. If he never mentions a future with you, he may not have thoughts of a future with you.

He Disregards Serious Matters
Unless you’re dating a child and not a grown man, at times your relationship will call for serious conversations and he should be ready to discuss the matters at hand. By nature, women may want to ‘talk’ more than men, but if he’s always changing the subject when you’re talking about your future, how to make your relationship better, or anything that calls for a serious tone, you may want to evaluate the relationship.

You Initiate The Communication 80 % Of The Time
If it were up to you, the two of you would talk multiple times a day. If it were up to him, he would be fine speaking to you once or twice a week. If you find yourself being the only one sending good morning or goodnight texts or the only one in the relationship doing a ‘just checking on you’ call, you may be forcing something that is not really there. If a man wants to speak to you, he will make time; and keep in mind just because he answers your calls doesn’t mean that he can’t live without you. If he’s just as serious about you as you are about him, he would initiate texts or call more.

You Hear No More Than Yes
No one likes to feel rejected, especially if the rejection is coming from someone that you care about. If you’re in a relationship and you’re constantly met by rejection, it may be time to reevaluate the situation. If your significant other is not willing to compromise or at least allow you to have things your way sometimes his “no’s” may say a lot about how he feels about the relationship.

2 replies on “6 Signs Your Love Is Not Mutual”

Yeah but when he starts doing the opposite of these things, she doesn’t want him anymore. I don’t believe in love anymore. Whenever I’ve been in it, it’s never been mutual, and has never worked out. It’s either he loves her, but she doesn’t love him or she loves him, but he doesn’t love her. Love is NEVER mutual.

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