Shy Magazine

Sex & Love

8 Ways to Stop Constant Fighting in a Relationship


There are a lot of ways to stop fighting in a relationship, but do you always want to follow them?
| by Heather Jensen |

Constant fighting in a relationship isn’t healthy, but sometimes it happens. If you’re finding yourself constantly fighting with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’ve got to take a look at my ways to stop fighting in a relationship so you can really get back to enjoying each other! Remember, fights are typically caused by misunderstandings and underlying issues!

1. Don’t Bring up The past

This is a huge step that I need to learn. I would say, one of the key ways to stop fighting in a relationship is to stop bringing up the past. The past is the past and the more that you bring it up, the worse the fight can actually be. Bringing up the past can also bring up a lot of old emotions, which is never good.

2. Don’t Leave Things Unresolved

I know it’s hard and you’ve probably heard it before, but going to bed angry is not going to solve anything. This can leave you both feeling extremely resentful and actually can make the fight last a lot longer. Why not resolve the fight before bed or at least talk it all out, so that you both can feel better?

3. Learn to Accept Each Other

Everyone in the world has flaws, some of the flaws are things that you’ve got to deal with, some of the flaws are things that you need to accept. This is where accepting each other for who you are comes in handy. Your boyfriend might never be the guy that brings home flowers and your girlfriend may never be the girl that can’t stop nagging, but these are things that you need to learn to accept.

4. Figure Out The Root of The Problem

Every fight in the world has a root at the end of it. Once you figure out exactly what the root of the problem is, you’ll be able to solve the problem and also solve the fight. It’s not going to be easy, but it is going to be worth it.

5. Own up to Your Part of The Fight

One of the biggest problems that I have when I’m in a fight is that I get into my own head space – and I don’t necessarily own up to my own part of the fight. It’s hard to admit that you are wrong and to take the blame. Do it though. It’s healthy and it’ll make your partner appreciate you!

6. Ban The ‘but’

‘But if you did this,’ ‘but if you did that,’ eliminate the ‘but’ from your vocab when you are in a fight and you’ll be way better off! I use the ‘but’ all of the time and truthfully, when I cut it out, the fight doesn’t last nearly as long. Just curb your tongue a little!

7. Is This a Repeat Performance?

I know that issues come up, but do you constantly have the same fight? Over and over again? Do you think that could be a sign? If you are constantly having a fight that revolves around a certain thing that your spouse does, why not bring it up to them calmly to stop the fight?

8. Remember What’s Important

Finally, you always want to keep in mind that your relationship is very important and that you two are together for a reason. It’s hard to keep that in mind when you are fighting, but it’s so important.

While you might not feel like your relationship is amazing because of the constant fighting, there are tons of ways to stop fighting in your relationship, you just have to work at it. So, are you constantly fighting in your relationship?

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