It can be hard to see who you are actually dating during the honeymoon stage, when everything is so perfect. So how can you tell if he is really Mr. Right, or if he’s just a loser? Here are my top ten signs that you are dating a loser…
1. He plays rough…
When he’s calm, he’s dreamy, but when he’s angry… he punches the wall, pulls your hair or breaks your things. He always apologizes… but if he can’t keep his temper in check, get as far away as you can as soon as possible. He’s definitely a loser!
2. He forms attachments fast…
Loser’s tend to have very shallow relationships, and this can lead to women being impressed by their eagerness to tell you they love you, commit and get married. He moves fast, meeting your friends, moving in, proposing… the perfect whirlwind? He keeps you busy so that you don’t have time to realize how strange this is. Normal people need time to get to know each other and fall in love, as nobody wants to get hurt. The Loser isn’t really committed, though, and can leave as quickly as they came.
3. He has Anger Problems…
You might have considered this when you thought about his temper, but how long is his fuse? Does he speed, throw things or threaten people when angry? The Loser will quickly explain why they are so angry, and assure you that it’s not aimed at you, but with a temper like that, you are certainly at risk. The Loser hopes that if you see their capabilities, you won’t confront or challenge them later.
4. He puts you down…
Mr. Right won’t try to crush your confidence. The Loser will. He’ll slyly and consistently question what you’re wearing, your weight and your worth, until you feel ugly, stupid and worthless. No one else will want you now… this can be a hard thing to break, so if you notice your friend’s confidence plummeting, try your best to remind her how great she is and that she probably needs to let go of this one and look to start a new relationship.
5. He doesn’t like your friends, your sisters or your mum…
The Loser will aim to cut all contact with your support network, and have you all to himself. He might tell you that they take advantage, or that they don’t understand your love. If he can’t stop you talking to them, he’ll question you after each call until you just give up talking to anyone but him.
6. He has mood swings…
One hour he’s the sweetest man on Earth, the next he’s being intentionally insulting. You stick around, because when he’s being nice, he’s very very nice… but when he’s being mean, he’s chipping down your confidence and making sure you stay his.
7. It’s your fault!
You made him angry, you made him sad, you embarrassed him… whatever he feels, it’s always your fault. He’ll convince you that you deserved the reaction, and he’s a saint… yeah right, he’s a big boy now. Don’t take the blame for his actions, and get out of there!
8. He panics at the thought of a break up…
The Loser can’t bear to be alone unless they’ve finished with you, so he’ll break down, plead and promise to change. Anything to make you stay! He might threaten suicide, or to go back to an ex, or public humiliation. He’ll seem reasonable, offering compromises… but kick him out!
9. He doesn’t like your hobbies…
So your an amateur painter, or an excellent horse rider… but not anymore. The Loser will stop all interests, or come along and demand to go home throughout. He’ll hope you’ll give in, give up the activity, and be completely under his control…
10. He is paranoid…
He’ll read your mail, check your phone, and search through your rubbish. He might find receipts and question you on where you’ve been and what you bought, or who you’ve spoken too. He’s paranoid about losing his control over you… he might go out, and tell you he’ll call, keeping you waiting by the phone while he sees his friends.
If you recognize any of these signs, then you are definitely dating a Loser! Get out as soon as you can, and make sure you don’t even consider going back to him. You’re worth ten of him! Have you got a fool-proof way of identifying a loser? Please let me know!