However, as a peer counselor to many single women who are looking to get married, I thought I should give a bit of understanding to those that don’t understand why marriage is eluding them.
For the most part there are about three different types of women, that are looking to be married. This article will help you identify where you are and how close you are to getting that ring.
1 // We will start with the “I Want It All” Single woman. This woman has a career, may own her own house, drives a trendy car, wears the latest fashions, keeps up with the political, social and economical news. She is savvy in business and seems to lack nothing.
Even though she may desire to have a relationship, she wants it on her own terms and that means, the man has to be willing to conform to her lifestyle. She is not willing to change her life to accommodate the relationship.
This woman will find that relationships come and go. She may eventually get married but for the most part she will remain single.
2 // Next we come to the “I Don’t Need A Man” single woman. We all have heard the woman stand and announce, “I don’t need a man”. This woman is similar to the “I want it all” single woman with one major difference. This woman may truly want to have a man in here life but doesn’t realize that the way she is living her life is shutting out all potential prospects. So she has settled with this attitude to protect herself from disappointment.
There may also be some emotional and mental obstacles that need to be resolved. She seems strong in the face of others but behind closed doors it might be a different story.
3 // Next is the “My man is my life” single woman. This is also known as the married-unmarried woman. Simply put, she changes everything about her life when she gets into a relationship. She no longer hangs out with her friends because she is spending all her time with her man. She changes how she dresses because he wants her to dress this way. She cooks his food, cleans his house, takes care of his children, if he has any. She may even move in with him in a short period of time. She reports to him about everything.
She is constantly talking about “we” and making long-term plans. She may even wear a ring that is a “promise ring” or some other type of commitment ring but it is never an engagement ring. Her mindset is if I show him I can be a wife he will marry me, but that day never comes and if it does, it is years later.
4 // Now we come to the “I got a man” single woman. This woman tends to be a mixture between the “I want it all and My man is my life” single woman. She is independent and does things with her friends and has a life of her own, however when her man is around her personality seems to switch and she becomes a different woman. She will tell every one I have a man when approached or asked but even though she is proud of her relationship status, she is constantly in fear of the break-up.
She may wonder at times if she is doing enough to keep her man. Thus she goes w=out with the girls and flirts with other men just to prove that she is still desirable. So in the case that something should happen with her relationship she will have a few on the sidelines waiting to play the game.
She is another form of the married-unmarried woman, she wants the ring but makes her partner feel that she can live without him thus the ring takes longer to come or may never come.
5 // Finally, there’s the “I’m content” single woman. Now this single woman is where we all need to be. She has a life that is full of loving, caring, and giving people. She is a good friend to her girlfriends and a good woman to her man. She has some standards that she will not break. She knows her place and is not afraid to change or take on more. Like the “I want it all” single woman, she has a job, car, and may own her own house. She hangs out with her friends and if she’s with a man, will not entertain other men. She may check in with her man but it is no where near the “My man is my life.”
She makes times for family, friends and her man. If she does not have a steady man, she has men friends that she hangs with or is dating often. However, she does not give up the “cookies”. She has respect for herself and others in her life. She understands that love comes to those that are open to it and you don’t need to give up who you are to get it.
This woman has a wife mentality, but will not sell herself short. She will cook, and do things for her man but it is just a glimpse of what it would be. Her man has a chance to see how life would be if they were married but knows to get it he must “put a ring on it.” The wonderful thing is he does.