Despite ancient male legend, women don’t initially “feel it” for a man based on his looks, his money, his car or cheesy pick-up lines. When it comes to finding Mr. Right, most women are looking for something else entirely, something that’s either there or it’s not…
His CONFIDENCE
Truth is, most guys immediately destroy any chance they have of coming across as Mr. Right by broadcasting signals of weak self-esteem, helplessness, nervousness, insecurity and immaturity. They’re too quiet. They avoid eye contact. They get tongue-tied. They’re not funny or engaging. All of which scream to a woman: “Hi, I have zero confidence in myself, which means I’ve failed to meet my own emotional needs, which means I can’t possibly meet yours, either. So, for your own good, please reject me ASAP.”
On the other hand:
A man whose inner strength allows him to project the correct body language — speak slowly, directly and clearly, use humor effectively, make clear, strong decisions — gives off the kind of calm, cool confidence that’s fuel for attraction.
Confidence is the key ingredient of what we commonly think of as “chemistry”… the immediate, unspoken promise that a man is likely to be:
1. PROTECTIVE AND IN-CONTROL. The kind of man who’s emotionally prepared and knows exactly what to say and do in a given situation.
2. EXCITING (IN THE RIGHT WAY). In other words, thrilling yet safe… passionate yet mature… unpredictable yet trustworthy.
3. CAPABLE OF SUCCEEDING IN LIFE AND LOVE...while also capable of tolerating and dealing with challenges, loss, and adversity.
Needless to say, a man’s confidence is powerful fuel indeed. It sparks overwhelming emotions in a woman that, once set off, she’ll want to explore further.
That in mind, here’s how any man can get more of this fuel for himself:
DIG DEEP
Most men obsess about things they can’t change about themselves — when they should be identifying and maximizing the “Mr. Right” qualities already buried inside them. So take inventory of your Mr. Right qualities (sense of humor, the ability to listen, compassion, activism) and then, no matter how deeply buried or dormant they may seem — take action to uncover, nurture, grow and project them.
TAKE RISKS
No doubt about it, until a man is open and excited to try new things in life, he’ll never escape his comfort zone, including daring to connect in a meaningful way with women. Building confidence means taking chances in life — whether skydiving or simply sampling new foods instead of ordering the usual. So start practice “taking risks” both large and small… and watch how it translates instantly into new confidence.
STOP FEARING REJECTION
Most men must discover first-hand that rejection won’t kill them (or even break a bone!). But once a man experiences this for himself enough times and accepts it, women can “feel” it the moment they meet him… that he’s calm, cool, and comfortable in in his own skin. So start “going for it” whenever you can, because, when it comes to rejection, there’s definitely nothing to fear except fear itself.
Take these small steps toward broadcasting confidence to a woman, and it’s almost automatic: she’ll “receive” the message… she’ll remember it… she’ll keep thinking about it… and she’ll want to spend more time around the man who sent it.
And then the sky’s the limit… all because you’re finally sending the signals that every woman is looking for and just can’t ignore: That you just might be Mr. Right.