Shy Magazine


Why Women Love Gay Men

Photo: Getty Images |
Photo: Getty Images |
In recent years, movies and television shows geared toward women have idealized the gay male friend. Shows like Sex and the City, for example, seem to suggest that no woman’s circle of friends is complete without at least one good gay friend.
| by Andrew Moore |

Maybe we’re reading a bit too much into this, but we’re pretty sure this fictional phenomenon has at least some roots in reality. In our experience, women love gay men.

However, according to the big and small screens, it seems there’s a particular kind of gay man with which most women are enamored by: They love the stylish, sarcastic and supportive guy; the gay man who looks good, listens to her and is loyal to a fault. Upon examination, it’s not hard to figure out why women love gay men who fit this criteria.

So, it stands to reason that by examining what women love about gay men, we heterosexual guys might be able to learn a few things.

Men’s clothes

Many, if not most, gay men have a great sense of fashion and style. For whatever reason, it seems gay men know how to dress, and they often put us heterosexual guys to shame with their impeccable taste in clothes and high fashion IQ. This is just one of the many reasons why women love gay men.

So, how can you tell if you have style or not? Ask yourself this: Do you ever walk into a crowded room and feel like the best-dressed guy there? If your answer is “no, never” you may need to rethink your wardrobe. In fact, if women rarely compliment you on your appearance — say, less than once or twice a week — it’s probably time to restock your closet.

Physical fitness

Yes, it’s a bit of a stereotype, but you’ll probably concede that many of the gay men you know are serious about physical fitness, and that’s another reason why women love gay men. Of course, heterosexual women are big fans of the carefully sculpted male form. Gay or straight, women enjoy being in the presence of a well-built man.

However, it’s also the shared interest in working out and living a healthy lifestyle that women appreciate about their gay friends. In many instances, gay men simply take better care of themselves than we do, and our female companions would appreciate it if we followed suit. So take a cue from your athletically inclined gay friends, and hit the gym with your significant other, or join her when she goes for a run.

At least do a sit-up or two, tubby.


A 2008 study published by the National Academy of Sciences revealed that gay men and straight women have similarly shaped brains: Both are symmetrical, whereas the straight male brain is asymmetrical; it is slightly larger on the right side (the same shape as the gay female brain). So, it’s possible that gay men think and see the world in a way that women can relate to; that might be another reason why women love gay men.

The bottom line is that your girlfriend’s friends communicate with her, and her gay male friend is no exception. His willingness to sympathize and try to understand her is surely one of the reasons your girlfriend loves her gay friend. And it wouldn’t kill you to take a cue from that guy and think about her feelings a bit more often. Just because our brains are shaped differently doesn’t mean we can’t be a little more sensitive.


Why do women love gay men? Because women don’t have to worry about their gay male friends leaving them for other women. Surely one of the things that women get out of a friendship with a gay man is male companionship without the fear of betrayal or abandonment.

So what can you do to demonstrate your faithfulness to a woman (besides, you know, not cheating on her)? Try keeping your wandering eye in check. For instance, when you’re out with your girlfriend and a pair of insanely hot twins walks by, don’t let your head spin around like a top.


We’re generalizing again here, but let it be said: Gay guys are just a good time. They’re funny, refreshingly frank about sex and they can dance. We recognize there must be some dull, socially awkward gay guys out there, but most of the gay guys we know are fun to hang out with, and that’s another reason why women love gay men.

The lesson for straight guys: Try to be less inhibited. Talk louder. Be bolder. Maybe even strut your stuff on the dance floor every now and then.

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