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Sex & Love

13 Reasons Why Women Say “No” to Anal Sex …

Photo: Getty Images //
First of all, I am going to be very open with the readers of my blog. I am not against anal sex.
| by W. Talk //

If you do it with the one you love and do it right, it can be fun. However, I have recently read a blog on here that a lady posted called Anal Sex- Steps to Making this Enjoyable… I have to give kudos to her, because she listed some great reasons in my book.

However, this is not the first time I have researched the subject. I have noticed a lot of girls out there that say “No” when it comes to anal sex. When I was reading the comments to the blog I previously told you about, I found many reasons as to why they say no to anal sex. Below, I am going to give you 13 reasons that I found in previous blog entries (real women who say “no) on anal sex…

13. It hurts
Do you know how many posts I have seen where women say it hurts? This seems to be the top reason as to why women are saying no to anal sex.

12. Anal sex is a good way to get AIDS
I actually saw that in a blog post. According to research I have done, you cannot get aids from anal sex, unless the person already has aids. However, again, I have found that this is a reason many women give. Maybe it is an excuse to get out of anal sex?

11. It is a homosexual desire
While I do not believe this, again, I have found many women out there that say that it is a homosexual desire.

10. Why there?
Why would any guy want to put his penis up there in that dirty place? Yes, I actually saw that posted on a blog and well, many girls do agree with this poster.

9. The eeky factor
That is just plain out disgusting for many women and there’s not much that can be done about that.

8. It’s pointless
From the anatomical point of view there simply can be no pleasure out of anal sex for women. Seriously. There’s nothing up there that can actually make it feel good.

7. Lack of trust
I do not trust my man enough to have anal sex with him.

6.I am saving anal sex for a very very very very special day.
Somehow, I think that very very very special day is never going to get there for that girl. However, it is a very good reason.

5. It’s too big
The guys penis is just waaaay too big to go up in that little bitty hole.

4. We might bleed
When some girls have anal sex, they bleed out of the area and many women do not want to go through this. Women who are dealing with hemorrhoids say no to anal sex.

3. Droplets? No thanks.
Droplets coming out of the derriere are far from being sexy. Yes, that was from a blog post I read. Some women feel that it is not sexy at all.

2. It might cause health problems
There was one girl in a post that said she had too much anal sex and it stretched out her butt and caused her to have some problems. One of those problems was the fact that she could not control it. Do you think this could actually happen?

1. It’s just not for me
Anal sex is just not something that is enjoyed by some women. Not wanting it and not enjoying it should be enough to say no. Don’t you think?

So girls, how many of you out there like anal sex? Is there a reason other than what is on my list that you do not like anal sex? If so, would you please post it for me as I am doing a bit of research…thank you in advance.

23 replies on “13 Reasons Why Women Say “No” to Anal Sex …”

It’s important to remember that everyone is different and their preferences may vary – what works for one person may not work for another. While anal sex may be uncomfortable or even painful for some people, it can also be enjoyable if practiced safely and consensually between partners. Communication and respect are key to having a positive experience.

I’m a 54 yr old man that developed ED after 2 heart surgery’s and diabetes, one night my wife and I were having sex, and what was hard began to get soft, and I accidentally entered my wife butt, she allowed it, I realized I was in the wrong place and corrected myself and we both came, but now my curiosity is up, and want to mix in anal with vaginal sex, she says no, she likes me to use warming oils, and I can lick around her hole and even rub it with my fingers, but no penetrating it, so this is enough for me, so everyone can be different, just enjoy each other.

Anal sex can be a very exciting and satisfying experience for both men and women. But in the beginning, it might be a little painful. It takes a lot of time and practise to get used to it. It might be best to try it once when you are terribly horny. Otherwise, you might start forcing it and that makes it difficult. Also, do not forget a lot of good quality lubricant, condoms and paper tissues. Silicone-based lubricant is basically the best because it works the longest. Of you want more information you can always have a look at This is a guide designed to help men and woman have better and more frequent anal sex. Having anal sex – no matter how often you do it – can be very horny, but also terrifying. Therefore, a little extra knowledge never hurts.

It is no healthy not natural and not right place for sex ,,when we change our behaviour. We will look it good rea it is not true same like some people educated with drank thy think doing right
I will say if men asked his wife to do anal sex easy to do with men too so what different betttwen men and women anal ?

Thank you for posting this article, which I enjoyed reading.

Never, never in my life, I thought I would ever have anal sex. When my dates/boyfriends or ex-husband would start talking about it, I told them it was not for me, and in my opinion it was only something for the ahummmm, not-so-nice-word-for-a-woman, or porn actresses would do. The thought disgusted me, and I never thought that any woman seriously would enjoy it. So a big no-no for me.

So, reading your article, I would say I would agree with:
-13. It hurts (yup, that’s what I thought)
-10. Why there? (I also thought that… I mean, a woman’s vagina or mouth should be sufficient, right?)
-9. The eeky factor
-8. It’s pointless
-1. It’s just not for me

And now, at the age of 43, after a divorce, I’m finally in a wonderful 1-year relationship with the most amazing man in the world. There’s something about him, and also, this man (like all other men) asked me about anal sex….. and somehow he convinced me: I was nervous, I was afraid it would hurt. He was gentle, and to my SURPRISE I did not feel dirty or in pain, I actually enjoyed how intense it was…! We have a wonderful love and sex life, and besides the “normal” sex, we do the anal stuff several times per month.

And believe me: I was very much against it. But, with the right man, in the right setting, it can be heavenly good.

@Ellen it really sucks that i’m worried about all this even prior to getting into a relationship. It seems that i’d never find a white guy that wouldn’t at least want to try it. I hate porn for making this popular and you’re always seen as vanilla in discussions about anal if you don’t at least try it once. I mean it will hurt and it may cause health issues. The female’s bottom isn’t meant to be penetrated. Guys will defend this to death cause they are selfish or secretly closeted. I mean why should it bother them so much what random women online think about anal? Men have always been obsessed with policing women and making us do what we don’t want to do.

I just say to women who do this  just for their bf or fiancé or husband’s pleasure: do you think your partner also like to do the horrible things for you? Do you think he like to hurt himself for your pleasure?
I am a man and i’m really sad when i see some women say i do this cus i love him! this is not love.

In islam and 1400 years ago, this (anal sex) was illegal. 
and real moslims dont perform this work.


It HURTS. It hurts so much and you spend the whole time enduring and trying to make sexy noises in hopes that it will make him cum so he will stop. Then you go and poop cum for an hour. It sucks and I’m so tired of hearing from men that I’m just not trying hard enough. That means you “Gorgeous” – you can just fuck right off.

I’ve had anal in the past and more recently with my current bf of 2.5 yrs. I see where it could be pleasurable, but it’s not for me. I had a lot of stomach issues growing up, so penetrating that hole has very negative memories associated with it, for me. More recently, I’ve been battling some intestinal issues that I’m just now getting under control. I was kind of offended my bf didn’t consider this when expressing he wanted us to do anal, but I was open minded enough to do it with him. We used anal specific lube and went slow, at one point it was a bit pleasurable, but that faded. I have a small anal plug I use during sex sometimes (I notice harder orgasms when it’s in) and I do enjoy some anal play too. I just don’t enjoy anal sex though. I also don’t see anal sex as taboo; I actually see it as cliche. I guess because most partners I’ve had have approached asking me about it like it’s something new when I see it as same-thing-different-hole. To each their own kink and I have my own. I see anal sex as variation, which is good to have. How can something be taboo and “naughty” when most couples are doing it and talking about it? Just my opinion though. I would rather discover new and different kinks with each other. I’ve told my bf if anal is something he’s going to want often, I may not be the best person suited for him. I would want him to be happy and getting his needs met. It would suck to end a relationship due to sexual preferences (since we’ve agreed to be exclusive and monogamous), but a satisfying sex life is a contributing factor in happy, healthy relationships.

In reply to bmbktnracer, it is anatomically impossible for a woman to achieve orgasm from anal sex. Unless your wife was fingering herself like crazy, she didn’t have an orgasm from you ramming your organ in her a-hole. Only since porn has been so readily available has this obsession with anal sex been a reality. It infuriates me that men pressure women to do it. They don’t give a damn about their partner, they just lay a heavy guilt trip until the woman gives in. The vagina is not “icky” by the way, nor is French kissing; what the hell is wrong with you Georgeous? You compare those acts to anal sex, where a penis is surrounded by traces of fecal matter? You make no sense. If there ever was an argument against it is it this: there is no E Coli in a vagina, if you stick your penis in a vagina and then the anus, no problem, but the other way around, massive infection. Also, a risk of tearing and bleeding and a complicated healing process. Don’t do it!

I had been traveling for a few weeks, and when I came home my wife and I were totally horny. However, it was her time of the month, and somehow we ended up going the anal route. It was incredibly exciting and she had several orgasms. From that point on, we did it all the time, every time. She couldn’t get enough. The secret was to enter her slowly AFTER a lot of warmup play. And then I’d just hold it there. After a minute or two, she’d start wiggling around. Soon, she’d be begging me to pump it into her. I’m very large, so it’d take some time for her to get accustomed, but when I let it happen at her pace, it was so exciting. Soon she’d be begging me to go to town on her. We did find that afterward it was better for her if I ejaculated on her back instead of inside.

I think that problem is that people do not know how to do it right. All the things from the top of the list is a complete nonsense. I do it to myslef with even double size things than pennis and it is a great fun and do not have any effects metioned in the article. I will tech you: 1st clean it – easy solution under the shower: disconnect the handset, set minimal pressure and your natural body temperature (36.6 C) and then stick the pipe into your butt and wait a few seconds, everything from entrance will came out and will be 100% clean from now (only little pieces will came out). 2nd – lubricate well and then start slowly with one finger, than two and finally even three if you wish and then any pennis or toy won’t do any harm. Go to your BF and have a great, clean and safe fun with both of your holes = double fun 🙂 Obviously don’t do it every day. I did it yestarday, I am sitting whole day on the front of computer today and even don’t feel that I did anything yesterday really. Problem is when you try to force it to streach it while is still not ready. You have to do it gentle, the best if yourself on the start or have experienced partner. I am a man btw. and not gay, just discovered my P-spot. and my gf likes it too. Articles like above are written by people who have no idea about it really, thay should try it themselves for a longer time first and ten write an article. There is very sensitive area and many people will even never experience it because of taboo.

its not just these ive also heard of things like prolapses id rather have cancer than an anal prolapse whats bad is that if it comes out how in the world would you live knowing it may from time to time come back out and possibly bleed…i have a fissure there and im so depressed its bad….i dont want to die but i was bleeding for several weeks and became severely anemic ..its becoming a sad sad world when men can no longer find the vag sexy enough to satisfy them i guess this is why most people turn to the opposite sex….theres never an issue with tightness ….i wish this da*n world would end it hurts like he**

It hurts too much for me :/ my fiance loves it and i do it every now and then to please him and make him happy. But when i was young i was rapped and it was anal.. and so when i think anal thats what i think of. When me and my fiance do have anal sex all i think in my mind is that it will all be over soon and im praying that i dont start crying. It’s hard for me to stay relaxed. He doesnt know that that is why i hate anal. It’s embarrassing. I’ll tell him soon but i just dont like it. It hurts and there is no pleasure for me. Im hoping soon I’ll move past the memories and try to enjoy it as much as he does and maybe even cum from it but its hard.. any suggestions on what i should do?

I first tried anal sex,with a b/f at 49 years old.I  prefer vaginal sex…..but i think that the taboo factor of anal,is abit of a turn on.

Anal sex was not my idea at first. When I was 15, my boyfriend and I began having sex, and one night we were doing it, and he asked me if I was open to anal sex. I really had never thought about it, but I said yes. He was very gentle when first entering me, and it helped that I had sucked on his penis and drooled saliva on it as lube beforehand. My anus was very tight at first, and his penis was quite long and thick when erect, so the stretching of my sphincter muscle was quite intense, but also pleasurable at the same time for me. I didn’t think he would be able to penetrate more than an inch or two, but he was very gentle during the initial penetration, and I stayed calm and relaxed as he steadily pressed into my ass, about a half-inch at a time. As he got deeper and deeper, my heart raced faster and faster, and I was surprised at how pleasurable and exciting it felt for me. When he got his entire penis inside me, he began to slowly rock back and forth, and the friction absolutely drove me wild. It felt so good. After a couple of minutes, I was whispering to him to “do it harder.” He started to go faster with longer thrusts back and forth. Honestly, it was the most amazing feeling I had ever experienced. He managed to cum inside my ass twice, and I actually had a massive orgasm myself. It wasn’t dirty at all. There was no mess or anything other than his cum, which I like to suck and swallow any way. And I didn’t have any problems afterwards. I think there are a lot of myths out there, but some girls just are afraid of trying anal sex for reasons that they or someone else put in their head. I have always enjoyed anal sex since then, and I have done it with four boyfriends plus my eventual husband. It’s been a regular part of my lovemaking every week since I was 15, and I think it is because it is so intense and pleasurable for both me and the guy. If you love and trust your bf or husband, I’d say do it if you’re open-minded about experiencing amazing pleasure with the man you love.

Let me begin by applauding tbtrini for being open minded and giving it not just “a” chance, but several.  Also, the fact that you did something that you initially weren’t too keen on just to make your man happy says a lot about you, and hopefully you’ve got a man that is just as attentive to your own desires.  That being said…Michael you seem not only uneducated but also like a total jack-off, and it’s an attitude like yours that makes more women resistant to the idea of anal.  Way to go.  

           Now, in regards to the article itself…and to women out there, I’d like to give my own perspective as not just a guy, but a straight guy.  To legitimize myself (and consequently open myself up to simple minded banter) I’ll reveal that a girlfriend I had a few years ago once asked me if I’d let her use a dildo on me and I thought about it for a few seconds and said I would but that I’d have some ground rules.  The ground rules were that it couldn’t be a strap on (way too fucking humiliating for me and also, what if she got way into it and ripped me apart?), there had to be plenty of lube available, and I also didn’t want to be actively involved at all.  I wanted to just be laying there on my stomach and porn had to be playing.   So one night we tried it.  Did it hurt?  Not really.  Did it feel good?  No.  Did it feel bad?   No.  Was it weird?  Yeah, kind of…but there were some positive things about it.  For one thing when I pooped the next day…it almost felt like it just felt out…perfect bowel movement that left me no reason to wipe beyond force of habit.  Also, I got try to something new and I think the bedroom is the last place to ever be close minded.  Would I ever do it again?   If a girl really wanted me to, yeah I would…fuck it.  It’s all about pleasing your partner while not stepping too far out of your own comfort level.
      Now all that being said, I’d like to respond to the 13 reasons given in this article. 

13) IT HURTS:   Yeah well, I’m sure that when you lost your virginity that kind of hurt too.  And being that some guys are bigger than others, I’m sure that even after a few different partners to loosen up on, you came across a guy that made you kind of feel like a virgin again.   It takes time.   

12)  ANAL SEX IS A GOOD WAY TO GET AIDS:   Ok..first of all, poor choice of words.  There is no “good” way to get AIDS.   Second of all…as the article’s author points out, you can’t get AIDS from anal unless the person already has it.  Also, if you’re having sex with a person who has aids, the risk of getting it is higher during anal because of the higher risk of micro-lesions because (until some practice) it is tighter.

11)  IT IS A HOMOSEXUAL DESIRE.  I bet this person is from the Midwest or the South.   I’ve been with a few girls that were really into anal.  One of them squirted ferociously out of her vagina during anal (she was a squirter in general….which I think is awesome by the way), and another woman told me that the strongest orgasm she ever had was during anal.  

10) WHY THERE?   Fair question.  Fair answers: To try something new?  To please your partner?  To do something you might end up really enjoying?  

09)  THE EEKY FACTOR-  First off, it’s spelled “icky.”  Anyway, this  is acceptable if you’re a coward.  Let’s be serious…..vaginal sex is icky.  French kissing someone is icky.  The male ejaculation is definitely icky.  And yet all of those things are amazing and we love them.  So the whole “anal is icky” thing is just a lame excuse.  

08)  IT’S POINTLESS-   This is true if you’re selfish.  If pleasure can be obtained, then it’s not pointless.  

07)  LACK OF TRUST-  If you don’t trust your man enough to have anal with him, then you should probably rethink what you’re doing in that relationship to begin with.  But that being said…I can understand not feeling comfortable enough with someone to do it.  

06)  I’M SAVING ANAL FOR A VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SPECIAL DAY.   This sounds like a total cop out.  Any time you use the word “very” more than twice just to emphasize a point, you’ve exposed yourself as a liar and as being insecure.

05)  IT’S TOO BIG-  Perfectly acceptable answer.   Though with the use of dildos (starting out small and working up to something bigger), you could become accustomed to it.  Back when I was in high school I was reading Penthouse Forum and an one of the articles was about the joy of anal, and a woman wrote it.  Her initial reason for not wanting to try it was because the guy was too big, so they started out by using small dildo’s and working their way up to larger sizes.  By the time she was ready to try his dick, the dildo they’d last used was significantly bigger than the penis she was about to enjoy.

04)  WE MIGHT BLEED-  I was a very late bloomer.  The first time I fingered a girl (my senior year in high school) her vagina smelled so bad that I could smell the stench on my fingers when I stopped for a second so she wouldn’t cum.  And on top of that, she suddenly pushed my down by the shoulders so that I’d eat her out.  I MIGHT have died from the smell….I MIGHT have thrown up because her vagina was so unkempt, but I ate her out anyway.  It was the worst experience ever…..EVER…thinking about it now makes me want to cry.  But it didn’t stop me from trying to go down on every girl I’ve ever hooked up with.  Also, doesn’t almost every girl bleed when she loses her virginity?  Does that stop them from having sex?  It’s just a bit of blood.  When girls are on their period, I think of it as free lube.  🙂

03- DROPLETS?  NO THANKS…..    This isn’t going to happen from a few rounds if the guy is gentle (which he should be at first).  

02-IT MIGHT CAUSE HEALTH PROBLEMS-   It’s possible, but again, anal shouldn’t be engaged in 24/7.  Just think of it as something you can do to switch it up and have some fun.  

01- IT’S JUST NOT FOR ME.   Again, perfectly acceptable answer.  It’s not for everyone, but I think it’s worth trying.  

i want to do it no matter if the girls says yes or no i like the ass sex position coz the girls butt is the best place

I have had anal sex, not becuase i liked it or even wanted to, I did it to make my man happy by choice not by force or guilt, Yes, most of the reasons that was listed are most of the reasons that I did not want to do it. But I have come to a point where I will say NO no matter what now because after the few times that I did it, I got hemmorhiods and I dont kno if is co-incidental but thats where I am with it now.

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