With pin-thin celebrities like Demi Moore, Faith Hill, and most recently, Tina Fey, having their curves airbrushed off magazine covers, it’s hard for us real woman to feel good about our real bodies. You can’t tell me there is a female on this planet who hasn’t tried to diet, or suck in, or shimmy into a pair of Spanx, all in the hopes of looking svelter—I for one have tried all three in spades. But I was still surprised when I read that according to a survey in by Fitness magazine, 51 percent of women would give up having sex for a whole entire year if it meant they could be skinny. Say what?!
Well gals, I’m the fat ambassador who has come to you to tell you that lean ladies have not cornered the market on earth-shaking, mind-blowing, down-and-dirty, can’t-walk-straight-the-next-day kind of sex. No matter what size you are, you can orgasm!
And let me tell you, when I strip down and go to town, I’m not wondering if he’s noticed my booty looks like the moon covered in cellulite craters or my stomach has more rolls than a dinner basket. You want to know what I’m thinking while I’m doin’ it? Well, sorry, this is a SFW kind of site.
I’d hate to think that a single one of my fellow womankind is letting body issues stop them from boning like the babelicious man-candy we are! So, I sat down with YourTango Expert and intimacy and sex counselor, Mary Jo Rapini, MEd, LPC. As you might imagine, we had quite the time discussing all the ways sex can satisfy a lady like nothing else! And it just affirmed that there are better things to do in life than waste time worrying about weight. Here are five reasons having sex is better than being skinny.
1. Sexual Healing: Forget an apple a day, an orgasm a week keeps the doctor away. According to our Rapini, sex boosts the immune system and cardiovascular health, helps people with diabetes heal wounds, fights aging by keeping your hormones in balance, cures headaches, prevents the vagina from atrophying, alleviates depression and anxiety, improves cognition, increases blood flow to the brain, skyrockets your self-esteem, and ultimately expands and extends your quality of life.
Plus, as Rapini also pointed out in her essay, Take The Orgasm, “A study by Beverly Whipple, a professor emeritus at Rutgers University and a famed sexologist and author, found that when women masturbated to orgasm ‘the pain tolerance threshold and pain detection threshold increased significantly by 74.6 percent and 106.7 percent respectively.'”
Amazing! So, ask not what you can do for sex, but what sex can do for you.
2. Variety Is The Spice Of Life: The real problem with this “thin is in” argument is the idea that that there is only one ideal kind of body, when we all know some men like blondes, some like short girls, some like sexy librarian types, and some like a big beautiful woman like me. It’s unfair to deny nature and men the kind of woman they’re attracted to just because the media, or a mirror, or those catty remarks we overhear make us feel like anything less than a temple of va-voom.
Rapini adds, “Men are not as picky as women are. They basically want a good proportion, but they don’t care if it’s a size 14 or a 2. They’re looking at the waist hip ratio. I tell all my patients is all you need to do is put a belt on and you will be attracting them like crazy!”
On the other hand, if a guy does care about what size you are, maybe you should start caring about your desire to have sex with total jerks.
3. The Best Is Yet To Come (Pun Intended): You think your body is saggy, lumpy, or unsightly now? Well, for senior citizens across the country, sex is the new Mahjong.
Rapini happily touts, “One of my biggest contracts right now is with assisted living homes. I have 70, 80, 90 year-olds-having sex and it’s incredible… The women each have one old guy on Cialis and it’s great for them. They’re happy as can be!”
With age comes wisdom, so let’s learn this lesson from our elders: be it age, weight or having to store your teeth in cup on the bedside table, nothing should stop you from feeling sexy.
4. More Bang: Hitting the hay is bound to make you a whole lot happier than saying “No thanks, I’m on a diet.” Not to mention that while eating mainly satisfies two senses, sex hits all five. Calories come with aroma and taste, but sex comes with full-body flava—touch, taste, sight, the sweet smell of pheromones, and don’t even get me started on the sounds!
As Rapini pointed out, “We each have 117 erogenous zones.” But don’t worry if you haven’t found yours. “I don’t know where all mine are,” Rapini joked. “I always say, when I retire, I’m going to find all my erogenous zones. That’s really all I want to do.”
I’m with ya, sister! Let’s put that on the top of all our Bucket Lists.
5. Confidence Is One Size Fits All: Why waste time trying to lose weight, when we could instead be out there shaking what our mamas gave us? It’s confidence that is what really attracts ’em.
In her practice Rapini has found that “when a guy sees a confident woman, he says to himself, ‘She loves her body, I’m going to get laid!’ If he see her with her head down, he thinks, ‘She doesn’t like her body, and there’s a good chance that she won’t like sex.’ Attitude is everything.”
You don’t have to tell that to Miss Dirty Martini. She was crowned the coveted Best Body in Burlesque three years in a row! In addition, Miss Martini and her 44″ ass(et) have modeled for Chanel, starred in several critically acclaimed films, one of which won the main prize Cannes last year, and she tours the world dancing the sexiest strip teases you’ve ever seen. If you buy a ticket to see her perform, be prepared to stutter huminah-huminah because this plus size ballerina is the embodiment of empowered female sexuality.
So ladies, let’s get out there and strut what we’re working with—all of it! Not just for the men in our lives, but for us. We have to start thinking of our bodies as more than just parts. There’s a way to enjoy every inch of our whole package if we refuse to let our insecurities squash our swagger. Don’t let a single sexy handful go to waste!
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