We’re taught from a very early age that being nice is a virtue. From the time we were infants, our parents told us to “be nice.” They taught us to be polite and to share, and to be considerate and kind. For the most part, it’s good advice. Society depends upon civility to function and relationships require mutual respect. However, one can be too nice and when you’re too nice, people tend to take advantage of you — women included.
In a relationship, as in life, it’s possible to be too considerate, too helpful and too selfless. There are signs you’re too nice, and we can help you recognize them. Whether you’re pursuing a woman or you’ve already got one, when you’re too nice it can prevent you from having the relationship you really want. Women appreciate a gentleman, but they don’t respect pushovers. So which one are you? Review our signs you’re too nice and find out for yourself.
1- You’re too respectful
In most social situations, good manners and respect for other people will get you pretty far. The woman in your life, in particular, deserves respect; however, while every woman appreciates a gentleman, there are certain arenas in which you can be too respectful. We’re talking specifically about the bedroom here.
Being too respectful between the sheets is one of the signs you’re too nice. In the bedroom, women appreciate spontaneity, assertiveness and a sense of adventure. Your girlfriend or wife doesn’t want you to be delicate or tentative in the bedroom. She wants passion. She wants you to ravage her. She might even want a little dirty talk.
2- You’re too interested
If you’re unfailingly interested by every little thing your wife or girlfriend does, it’s another sign you’re too nice. Yes, you want to take an interest in her career, her family and her hobbies, but it’s a bad sign if you’re more interested in her life than you are in your own. Not only will she eventually get tired of you sticking your nose in her business, but your excessive interest in her will ultimately make you boring.
If you abandon your aspirations, neglect your interests and bail on your friends just so you can concentrate all of your energy on your relationship, chances are your relationship is doomed to fail. By giving up on all the things that make you interesting (and, ultimately, who you are), you’re killing the guy she fell for in the first place. That’s why becoming too interested in her is one of our signs you’re too nice.
3- You’re too complimentary
Being too complimentary is another one of our signs you’re too nice. Every woman loves to be complimented, but every woman also wants your compliments to be genuine. Once you start telling her how beautiful she is six times a day, the words lose all meaning.
There are times when your wife or girlfriend is going to look like a showstopper. She’ll probably get all dolled up when the two of you have dinner plans, for example. However, there are other times when she’s going to look like a train-wreck, like when she’s hungover or sick. She doesn’t want to hear how beautiful her eyes are when they’re actually glassy and bloodshot. Give her compliments consistently, but sparingly; that way they’ll be more meaningful.
4- You’re too understanding
It’s unfashionable these days to be too judgmental; tolerance and acceptance are the cardinal virtues of the modern era. That’s great, but one can be too understanding and that’s another one of the signs you’re too nice.
It’s a fact of life: Some people suck, and even good people do bad things from time to time. Trying to “understand” another person’s point of view as he or she walks all over you isn’t tolerant; it’s spineless. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself. Most importantly, if your partner sees other people walking all over you, she’ll walk all over you too — that is, until she walks out on you.
5- You’re too cheerful
The last of our signs you’re too nice has to do with your mood. If you’re smiling and cheery all the time, you’re too nice. Everyone gets pissed off once in a while. More to the point, sometimes anger is a completely justifiable response. Bad behavior in children, for example, calls for a certain degree of anger. When one of your employees is caught slacking off, anger is the necessary response. The same is true when your girlfriend behaves badly. Getting angry or upset at appropriate times isn’t a sign of instability; it’s a sign you’re a man.
Naughty or nice?
These are just a few of the signs you’re too nice. The point here is about self-respect. If you have a clear sense of who you are and what you want out of life, you won’t let someone walk all over you. If you don’t respect yourself, be prepared to be treated like doormat.