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Sex & Love

7 Tips on How to Deal with An Insecure Boyfriend


Insecurity can cause a lot of issues in a relationship and seems to have already led you here to seek out ways for how to deal with an insecure boyfriend.

| by Lauren Cochrane |

An insecure guy can tend to be overly jealous, make ridiculous accusations, constantly bombard you with calls and texts, or become moody at a moment’s notice. If you feel like your guy is worth the extra effort to help him get past his insecurities in the relationship, then here are 7 tips on how to deal with an insecure boyfriend to help you out!

1. Examine Your Behavior

The first thing you should do on how to deal with an insecure boyfriend is look at yourself. See if there are any ways that you may be contributing to his insecurities. Do you flirt with others? Do you do things to make him jealous? Do you ignore him? Make sure you’re not giving him reasons to distrust you which may be adding to his insecurities. If you are 100% sure that you are not contributing to how he’s acting at all, then stand your ground. Make sure you’re not giving up your friends or your life to make your guy feel more secure when you’ve given him no reason not to trust you.

2. Subtle Reassurance

Just like we girls like being told we’re beautiful, guys like being told they look good too whether they admit it or not. Don’t patronize him and make it obvious that you’re trying to boost his self-confidence, but if you notice he looks good, tell him! Comment on his new shirt or that he smells amazing today. Also, try not to comment on other guys’ appearances when you’re around him as he may start comparing himself to them. Save your Bradley Cooper comments for your girlfriends, at least until your guy seems less insecure.

3. Remind Him to Communicate

Remind your guy that he can always communicate with you if he has jealous thoughts or feelings to help put his mind at ease. It can be annoying when your guy becomes jealous often, but try to remain calm. You may be surprised to find that your guy is upset over something you did that you didn’t realize was upsetting him and letting him know you’ll stop may fix the issue right away. If however he continues to accuse you of things, let him know that the relationship is never going to work unless you listen and trust each other.

4. Talk about His past

His insecurities may stem from bad relationships in the past and he’s taking it out on you. Although it may be tough for you to hear, ask about his past relationships and what went wrong. If someone cheated on him in the past, it may be affecting his new relationship with you now. Reassure him that you are nothing like his ex’s and you’d never do that to him. If anything, share a tale of ex-boyfriend woe with him where the same thing happened to you. Realizing you’ve both been hurt by someone in the past can bring you closer together and let each other know that because it happened to you, you’d never do that to someone else.

5. Don’t Become like Him

Some women tend to fall into the same patterns and behaviors as their guys. Don’t become insecure and jealous just because your guy is. Sometimes, we may think that a guy questioning our love for them or faithfulness will make us think that they are the ones who are unfaithful or falling out of love. That’s not always the case. Questioning yourself because of your guys insecurities is never a healthy relationship to be in and needs to be dealt with. But starting to each point fingers at one another is sure to lead to more fights, and eventually a break-up so don’t fight fire with fire!

6. Bring Him Out with Your Friends

A big reason your guy may feel insecure is if you keep telling him your with this person or that person and he has never met them before. This is especially true if you have a lot of guy friends. So next time you meet up with your friends, make sure you bring him along. Getting to know your friends may help him see that there’s nothing to be worried about when you go out without him. You shouldn’t have to give up your friends because your boyfriend is insecure, so if after meeting them he still doesn’t like that you hang out with them, you may need to decide if he’s really worth giving up your social life for. Usually, he’s not.

7. Watch How You Dress

Before following this tip, ask yourself if it’s really worth it to change your style to make your guy happy. If it is, then take a second to think about how you dress. Do you wear a lot of low cut tops, short dresses, and super high pumps? If so, it’s probably causing a lot of guys to pay attention to you even if you’re with your boyfriend. This may be causing him to be even more insecure. Try to tone down your outfits as you shouldn’t need other guys to pay attention to you now that you have a boyfriend you care about. Still look gorgeous, but try to be a bit more conservative if you can. I’m sure you’re guy will appreciate not feeling like he’s going to get into a fight every time you both go out in public.

If your boyfriend starts verbally abusing you, please get out of the relationship. Blaming his insecurity is not going to make you feel any better in a relationship like that. I’ve been in a relationship like this (so have some of my friends) and it was really emotionally draining. Sometimes your guys insecurities can be talked through and worked out simply by communicating correctly. But if you’ve tried all of these suggestions and you feel like his insecurities are causing you to be in an unhealthy relationship, it may be time to move on. Have you (or are you) dealt with an insecure boyfriend? Did it work out in the end?

One reply on “7 Tips on How to Deal with An Insecure Boyfriend”

You may want to ease up on calling men GUYS and then calling women WOMEN…it’s stupid and imbalanced, it’s either girls and guys or MEN and women!

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