Shy Magazine

Sex & Love

8 Tips on How to Find The Right Partner for You


Every single person wonders how to find the right partner.
| by Alison Bryant |

Certainly, it’s not an easy process – if it were, we’d already have found them! However, there are many ways in which you can help improve your chances of finding someone who is right for you. Here are some tips on how to find the right partner for you …

1. Identify Your Values

The first step in knowing how to find the right partner is in identifying what values matter most to you. If you are going to have a good relationship with someone, it’s essential that they share your outlook and attitude. Some things can be compromised on, but not our core values.

2. Be Open

Keep an open mind, and don’t dismiss someone just because they’re not what you normally go for. The right partner may be someone that you have not even considered as relationship material! Sometimes we have very fixed ideas about what we are looking for, and that can lead us to overlook a really great guy.

3. Don’t Rush

Sometimes it seems as though everyone but us is in a relationship, and that they are really happy. Wanting to have the same thing can lead us to rush into getting involved, and also to progress the relationship too quickly. As a result, we end up with the wrong guy or mess up with the right one. Always take your time.

4. What Do You Have to Offer?

Relationships are a two-way street; you need to have something to give to your partner. So, to find the right person for you, you must be someone worth being with. Otherwise you are not likely to end up with a good relationship. But what is certain is that you do have positive qualities.

5. Instincts

Use your instincts when you meet someone – if you trust that inner voice, it will rarely let you down. Sometimes we meet a guy and ignore that niggling suspicion that there is something not quite right about him. Then events prove that our instincts were correct. Equally, using this inner voice can help us detect a good guy when we meet him.

6. Consider Character Traits

It can also be helpful to consider what character traits you look for in a partner. If you are a shy person, you may want someone who is more outgoing to balance you out. Or you may feel more comfortable with someone who is equally introverted. Also consider which traits would be a good match for your own.

7. Positive Person

Look for a guy who has a positive outlook on life, who cares about other people, and who wants to get on in life. That doesn’t mean that he has to be extremely ambitious, just that he should have goals. Watch out for guys with serious issues, though. Don’t try to save someone, or waste your time on a person who doesn’t want to be helped.

8. Know What You Don’t Want

Just as important as knowing what you want, is knowing what you don’t want. If you are certain that you don’t want a family, then there is no point hooking up with a guy who’s desperate to be a dad. Identifying factors that you don’t want in a relationship means that you won’t waste time with the wrong person.

Just as with most things in life, we do have to make mistakes in relationships in order to learn from them. As they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince! Remember that there is no such thing as Mr Right – there are a lot of guys that could be great for each of us. You just have to find them! If you have a really great guy, what helped you find him?

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