Shy Magazine

Sex & Love

9 Signs You Might be Bad at Sex

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Signs You Are Bad at Sex can be subtle … or really obvious.

| by Lyndsie |

Recognizing them can be difficult, just because … well, who wants to think they’re bad at sex? However, if you’re willing to look for signs you are bad at sex can help make you a better lover, and that will make the experience much better for you and your partner. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being not so great at sex, because while the urge is natural, the skills are often learned. Besides, you never have to tell a soul that you’re reading up on these signs you are bad at sex – just check them out, see if they describe you, and work on making them better!

1. Self-Consciousness

One of the most telling signs you are bad at sex is a high level of self-consciousness. If you’re afraid to be seen naked, to have sex with the lights on, or to let your partner touch you in certain places, it definitely manifests as bad sex. That’s not necessarily the case, but it will seem like it. To really enjoy sex, and to be good at it, it helps if you’re comfortable in your own skin.

2. You Don’t Say What You Want

Not only will this make you seem bad at sex, but it will make your partner seem bad, too. It can be really hard to just come out and say what you want, but it’s necessary. After all, how else can your partner know?

3. You Don’t Know What You Want

You might say that this just can’t be one of the signs you are bad at sex, because you can’t possibly know what you want, but that’s not true. Even if you have little or no experience, you can think about the things you’d like to try. You may not end up liking them, true, but you do know if you want to try something.

4. You Don’t Take Control

It’s not always your partner’s job to take control. When you’re incredibly passive, that’s not going to be fun for either of you. You don’t have to be dominant or super aggressive, but it may help if you’re willing to take control some of the time, at least.

5. You Giggle a Lot

Now this one is kind of tricky. Laughing in and of itself is not one of the signs you are bad at sex. In fact, laughing when you’re intimate can be a good sign! However, if you keep giggling like an embarrassed school girl and turning the whole scene into something childish, then yeah, that’s a problem.

6. You’re Really Quiet

If you’ve ever watched an adult film, you know those girls scream and yell like nobody’s business. While some girls do really react that way, a lot of us don’t and you don’t have to either. However, you also shouldn’t be so quiet and still that it seems like you’re not there. At best, that’s going to make your partner really paranoid.

7. You Analyze too Much

It’s completely natural to put a lot of thought into thinking about what you want to do or if you want to do anything, especially if you’re inexperienced. However, if you and your partner have been together for a while, sometimes you just need to go with the flow. Don’t over-analyze everything, because that takes the spontaneity out of the situation, and that can definitely lead to bad sex.

8. You’re No Maintenance

Being a low maintenance girl is not one of the signs you are bad at sex, so don’t worry. However, when you’re a no maintenance girl, who doesn’t say what she wants or makes no effort at all, comes to bed in flannel footy pajamas with cream on your face, or neglects to shave for weeks at a time (unless that’s your bag, you know), then that, too, can lead to bad sex.

9. You’re Afraid to Try New Things

Like say, spontaneity is important in your sex life. This falls in line with going with the flow sometimes. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Sometimes being too plain vanilla makes it seem like you’re bad at sex. Besides, again, you don’t ever have to do anything you don’t like; if you try it and hate it, then so be it.

There are many signs you are bad at sex, and none of them are deal breakers. You don’t need to feel mortified or embarrassed. Instead, feel enlightened! Everything is a learning experience, and no one is an automatic expert at sex. As you can see, many signs you are bad at sex have to do with your comfort level. If you can learn how to make yourself feel more comfortable, things will go much more smoothly. You just have to be willing to recognize which signs you are bad at sex pertain to you, and work on them. On the other side of things, do you have any tips on how to improve your sexual skills?

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