Iwould be lying if I said I wasn’t one of them. I fake it often.
The big mystery plaguing scientists is why? Why are women pretending to get off if we’re not? Originally, researchers believed it was to stroke the male ego, but this study found that our reasons for faking have more to do with us. Most women surveyed faked it to mask a fear of intimacy, to get sex over with, or to increase their own sexual satisfaction.
All of the above for me. I’ve faked it for every reason in the book. Because I’ve felt too vulnerable to have an orgasm, because I was uncomfortable with a particular partner, because I had gas and didn’t feel like announcing it, because my boyfriend’s d*ck was poking my cervix in an uncomfortable way, because I couldn’t stop thinking about work, because the sex was bad and I didn’t care to try to make it better, because I couldn’t focus on myself as much as when I masturbate, because I was tired, because I was about to dump him, because I wanted to make him feel good, because I felt like getting carried away, because I wanted to live up to a porno fantasy, because I wanted to have one and couldn’t, because I thought faking it would bring on a real one, because I was so turned on in my mind, but my body wasn’t following suit, because I was getting off technically so I didn’t consider it to be fake. I could go on, but I think you get the point. There is not one ultimate reason women fake it.
I know some of you will accuse me of cheating myself out of my own pleasure or misleading my partners. The truth is, I don’t really care whether or not I have an orgasm most of the time—it’s irrelevant to me. As much as men think they know when a woman is faking, not a single guy has ever called me out on it. Maybe they were just being polite, who knows. When I do have real orgasms, it’s wonderful and amazing. When I don’t, it still can be wonderful and amazing.
Sex for women is not about achieving the goal of orgasm, it’s about—to be cliche for a moment—the journey. Whenever I get in the sack with another person, I want to go on an erotic journey. If another person can fulfill that need, it is way more important than him being able to give me an orgasm every time. If he gets me and what I’m into, if we can explore new things together, if we can connect on an intimate level, then consider me a satisfied gal. I don’t think I’m damaging my sex life by faking it every now and then, I think I’m enhancing it by playing along, if you will.
Men don’t always understand this as orgasming for them is fairly black and white. Penis gets hard, sexual activity happens, ejaculation occurs. Women’s bodies don’t work like that. We’re complex creatures and our bodies can be moody and unpredictable, especially when there is another person in the room and his pleasure is at stake. Our bodies gets overwhelmed, confused. So sometimes we fake it. We should stop trying to figure out why. We should stop thinking it’s weird or bad. It’s just something that 60 percent of us do. No harm done. No pleasure lost. It’s all part of the game.
Do you agree with me? Why or why not?
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