Shy Magazine

Sex & Love

Anal Sex Dos & Don’ts

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It can be fun, but if it goes wrong the first time, she’s not going to try it again. Pay attention to these dos and don’ts.
| by Sarah Stefanson |

While certainly not as taboo as it has been in the past, anal sex is still a little outside the norm in the average bedroom. Strictly speaking, the anus was not designed for penetration, but when done right, butt play can feel pretty amazing. If you’re planning on putting anal on the sexual menu with your girlfriend, there are a few dos and don’ts to keep in mind so that both of you enjoy it.

Don’t do it if she’s pregnant
Anal sex is best avoided during pregnancy. The first reason to skip anal while she’s with child is that hemorrhoids are a common side effect of pregnancy and could make anal sex very painful. Secondly, you don’t want to risk an infection in her vagina if you happen to transfer bacteria from her anus to her vagina. The most important reason to not suggest having anal sex while she’s experiencing the joys of pregnancy is that it will not score you any daddy points. Tell her you think pregnant women are sexy and do it the old-fashioned way.

Do use a lot of lube
Remember, the anus does not produce its own lubrication like the vagina does, so using plenty of silicone or water based lubricant is very important to creating a safe and comfortable experience for both of you. Some companies make lubes that they claim are designed specifically for anal penetration, but any lube will do as long as you use plenty of it. Using a thicker lube — usually silicone –will ensure that your slipperiness will not evaporate before the deed is done.

Don’t use numbing creams
There are a variety of numbing creams and gels available to decrease the sensation in her anus, and she may be tempted to use them if she’s afraid of the pain. Not being able to feel the pain could be dangerous, though, since pain is your body’s way of telling you something’s wrong — she could get seriously hurt without realizing it. Instead of numbing her out, prepare her with plenty of anal foreplay using your fingers, tongue and toys before the main event. Most importantly, make sure she is relaxed and comfortable.

Do use protection
You may think that wearing a condom for anal sex isn’t necessary since she can’t get pregnant, but the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) is actually more likely with anal penetration than with vaginal. The skin around the anal area is thinner and more susceptible to tiny cuts and tears, which allows STIs through. So unless you’re 100% sure both of you are monogamous and disease-free, putting a condom on for anal sex is essential.

Do let her set the pace
Make sure you and your partner both enjoy the anal sex experience by letting her call the shots. How fast, how far and how hard are all things that should be up to her. You can’t be as rough or enthusiastic as you might be with vaginal intercourse — at least not right away. Let her get used to it by going slow, and if she says stop, stop immediately, or she may decide anal is no longer an option.

Don’t penetrate elsewhere afterward
Don’t put your penis in her butt and then immediately penetrate another part of her body (i.e., vagina, mouth). You may have picked up bacteria at the back door that could cause infections elsewhere. Plus, it’s gross. Yes, porn girls love them some ATM, but unless your girl specifically asks for it, don’t go there.

There are rules for a reason
It may seem like there are a whole lot of rules for something that should be fun, but they really are for your (and her) own good. Giving your girl a bad anal sex experience virtually obliterates your chances of ever doing it again. Make it good for both of you by following these important dos and don’ts of anal sex.

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